


Watch What Happens Next

by johnkun



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Car Racing, Alternate Universe - Formula One, Enemies to Lovers, Formula 1, M/M, Racing, Rivalry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:35:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23876272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnkun/pseuds/johnkun
Summary: And if Jaehyun's hand slips and strangles Ferrari's newest recruit, Kim Jungwoo, he is truly going to blame it on the fact that Jungwoo is just an annoying piece of shit. Yeah, that's what he's going to do.He can hear Hendery's voice in his head, telling him to not strangle anyone but just one time wouldn't hurt, right?
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Jungwoo, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong, Suh Youngho | Johnny/Qian Kun
Comments: 12
Kudos: 90





	Watch What Happens Next

**Author's Note:**

> yes, hello. i think i have never written anything this long and i also know that i am a lil rusty with writing as i have been properly procrastinating for way too many months. but then this happened n boom, i wrote it in a day, oops? i just like formula 1 okay, i have been watching it since i was a child - i still had to do a shit ton of research for this and i hope that everything is right. yeah. fingers crossed??
> 
> title is from watch what happens next by waterparks. the song has nothing to do with this fic but i mean i wrote this listening to the album fandom by waterparks n it is on it. great album tho, i recommend listening to it!
> 
> disclaimer: all the people who are named are real people. yes, even the team principals n other drivers, i didn't have energy to make everything up, u know? also, jaehyun has slight doubts of himself and self-esteem issues n u can see them here. also towards the end there is a slight car crash in the race - nothing bad happens i promise - and also alcohol is involved in one part (nobody is actually drunk) but if that triggers you please read with caution! also johnkun and dotae are side ships. they appear but not that much but enough to have their own tags. also i didn't know what else to tag than enemies to lovers but it is more the press making them enemies but at the start they are more or less enemies / rivals i suppose. also hendery best boy!
> 
> anyways, i hope you enjoy! this is lowkey my baby. my newest pride and joy, i guess. i was also supposed to proof-read this but then my head said nah fuck that so yes, this isn't even proof-read so sorry if there are any mistakes!

_Is he the one to overthrow the Jung Jaehyun?_

_Scuderia Ferrari's newest recruit, Kim Jungwoo places first on Friday's free practise sessions in the sunny Melbourne! Kim has been rumoured to be a certain winning candidate for the Australian Grand Prix and if he manages to keep up the same speed as now, it is certain that Kim will be the driver on the highest part of the podium. Ferrari has kept this young, fresh talent in the shadows for so long that we are all pleased to finally see his abilities. When rumours first sparked that the team principal of Scuderia Ferrari had found something truly special - or in this case, someone - we could all imagine the faces at the Mercedes-AMG Petronas team! The winner of the drivers’ championship has been Jung Jaehyun's for three times in a row now and we all believed that he is unstoppable. Named one of the most influential Formula 1 drivers of all time, Jung has been making a name for himself ever since Mercedes scored him away from team Aston Martin Red Bull Racing. South Korea’s sweetheart who is fearless once behind the wheel, Jung has gained himself quite the fanbase over the years. The true question we all want answers for? Is Kim capable of being the one who is going to stop the endless celebration of Mercedes? We shall see more during this weekend what he truly is capable of!_

The television screen turns black as Jaehyun throws the remote into the wall. It shatters into pieces, just like his head is about to do - usually it is during the last five Grand Prix that his thoughts start getting to him but it is different this time. For the last months, ever since Kim Jungwoo - 22-years-old, South Korean, Scuderia Ferrari’s new recruit and apparently a wonder, a gift to the racing world, _a true prodigy_ \- had been introduced to the eyes of the world, the ache in his head has grown more and more. The one, who is about to overthrow him. Jung Jaehyun’s newest rival. A driver with so much talent that it is surprising how he was just now thrown into the glorious world of Formula 1. The press has said so much about the man that Jaehyun truly feels like it is a fun game for them to immediately pit the two against each other. But then again, it is kind of true, that they are rivals now - in all of the five years Jaehyun has been driving from Grand Prix to Grand Prix, getting to know the machine under him and the numerous places where races happen. He already showed his potential during his years in the Red Bull team, stepping on the third place on the podium for the drivers’ championship only on his first year. He heard the whispers and the numerous rumours when he first started - _is Jung worth it? He must be cheating, there is no way he is actually that good._ He showed himself, made a name, got recruited by Mercedes, left Red Bull and won the championship. After that he was a one-time wonder in the press. Then he got his two more championships. Just after all of the three championships he was influential, someone whose driving was beautiful to watch. A master at what he does. 

Then came Kim Jungwoo. And he understands why the press has made them rivals. Kim was a surprise to the racing world, he hadn’t made a name before and then Mattia Binotto announces that this is our new star. And he has to be, it is obvious for everyone, Binotto makes calculated moves, watches and analyzes, so Kim Jungwoo _must_ be something else. It has always been Ferrari versus Mercedes, and since Jaehyun has been Mercedes’ golden child for three years now, it is a snap of the fingers and he is now Kim’s rival since the Ferrari prodigy is immediately made the golden child of them. Kim shows his skills, beats him and there it is - Kim Jungwoo is the one who is going to beat Jung Jaehyun. Rivals before even properly meeting each other.

The knocking on his hotel room’s door startles Jaehyun out of his trance. He quickly glances at the shattered remote but decides against throwing it to the trash before talking to whoever wants him at this time of the night.

“You okay? I heard something hitting the wall from your room. Seriously Jung, get some help on managing your emotions, would you? It ain’t good on the long run”, Bottas immediately starts rambling as Jaehyun opens the door. He knows that Bottas means good, Bottas is a one of a kind teammate, always helping, wondering and caring - a long time ago Jaehyun thought that the second driver of Mercedes was putting up a good as hell front to hide the ambitious and skilled driver that Bottas truly is once all the red lights are out and the race starts. 

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry your head Valtteri. It’s fine, truly. Nothing that I can’t handle, the good same old”, he manages to show a tired smile and he sees how Bottas wants to say otherwise. _You should have gone to therapy when you were young,_ his friends at home like to remind him and yes, maybe he should have. But now he is on top of the Formula 1 world, he doesn’t have time for therapy - or maybe he does but just doesn’t want to admit his problems to himself, it wouldn’t be the first time. His teammate sighs in front of him, shaking his head. Jaehyun knows Bottas wants to push him to talk more, to admit that sometimes it all gets a bit too much, but his teammate knows Jaehyun better and only wishes him to have at least a good sleep - _you need rest to be ready for tomorrow, Jung._

“It’s never too late to talk about it all, you know?” he whips his head to face the other side of the hallway where Wolff’s newest addition to the pit crew stands, smiling at him softly.

“I know, Hendery. I know.”

/

The qualifyings are a mess and as Wolff screams his head off at all of them about the race’s tactics because truly the season can’t continue like the shit show that was today, all Jaehyun just wants to do is close his eyes, float away, maybe sleep where the floating around takes him.

It was all fine until the final seconds of Q1, everything was perfect even. Wolff was congratulating him over the mic about the first place he surely is going to keep for tomorrow. _There is no way that Kim is going to be faster than you, Jung, he was slower than you for both of sectors one and two._ And Jaehyun truly wanted to believe his team principal’s words but there it was in the back of his mind, the thoughts that told him that he had done it too before. He had been slower for sectors one and two once but had managed to be faster for sector three. It isn’t even that unusual in Jaehyun’s opinion, people just like to make a big deal of it. Maybe even more now that Kim Jungwoo did it, in front of his eyes. Jaehyun didn’t miss the mischievous glint in Kim’s eyes, the slight smirk on his mouth as he had taken his helmet off and looked Jaehyun straight in the eyes. A challenge, meant just for him. Leclerc blocks Jungwoo out of his view as he comes to congratulate Jaehyun on his second position at start for tomorrow’s race. It is all a continuous hum in Jaehyun’s ears but he manages to congratulate Leclerc back, joking about being intimidated that he is now between two Ferrari drivers. Maybe somewhere deep inside him he truly is intimidated by the talent Kim Jungwoo possesses and how Jaehyun knows this season won’t be easy on him - he can already feel the way Wolff’s yells ring in his ears if he makes a mistake since they have to keep Ferrari in check. It has been so easy before, being the obvious winner for both drivers’ and constructors’ championship but now Ferrari has truly scored big. _May the best man and team win._

As Jaehyun walks through the pit after the qualifying sessions he can feel the way heads turn to watch him and his moves. Once again it is all just a sweet hum in his ears as he hears the audience yell as he turns to smile at them. It shouldn’t be this nerve-wrecking, these thoughts should be kept away - it has been fairly easy before. And as much as people tell him to go to therapy, he doesn’t - maybe the victories and championships make him hold a certain weight on his shoulders all the time but it has always made him push and push as long as he can stand on the first place on the podium.

“Hey Jung, ready to face a great loss tomorrow?” Jaehyun hadn’t heard the footsteps until they are right beside him and he _knows_ that voice. Has heard it on the television, radio, on the pit, somehow everywhere he goes this same voice haunts him. As he turns his head to face the oh-so-mighty Kim Jungwoo, he truly doesn’t know what to answer for a while. It would be easy to just say no but does he want to give Kim the satisfaction of knowing how easily he can get under Jaehyun’s skin? The answer will always be no.

“Already so confident in winning, Kim? You truly must not know how easily I can rise from behind the first spot, huh?” Jaehyun smirks at him because in the end, he truly knows his own capabilities. Jaehyun knows that he is a fucking amazing driver. He hasn’t forgotten the compliments Toto Wolff has given him during his years at Mercedes, saying how Jaehyun is the future of Formula 1 - someone who knows the game and plays it well. Jaehyun hasn’t forgotten the words of his old team principal at Red Bull - Horner had said that Jaehyun is something extraordinary, a natural when it comes to racing. He has ambition, the desire to make himself go towards being better and better during every race. _Never forget that you are one of a kind, Jung._ That’s what Horner had said as he parted ways with Red Bull before being thrown into Mercedes.

“Maybe I am, we’ve got the speed and right tactics for this year. If you don’t watch out, we will truly be unstoppable. You have seen how Charles has gotten better during all these years, you all should be scared of both of us, not just me even if the media likes to say that”, and the words are true. Jaehyun has seen Charles grow as a driver, maybe he has kept his eye on Charles also because of the fact that they are the same age. If Kim is right about something, it is that Charles Leclerc is a strong driver too and the media has been too focused on Jungwoo’s instant success - it feels like they have forgotten the way Charles is like a wild animal when driving, always looking for their next prey.

“Oh, Leclerc has gotten better. Don’t you forget Bottas either, Kim. Mercedes has a strong team, we won’t give up as easily as you make it sound”, and Kim has the audacity to just smirk at Jaehyun.

“May the best man win, right, Jung?” Jaehyun just nods because honestly, he knows that Kim is annoying him on purpose, playing too well into the rivalry that has been made between them. During their conversations he hadn’t remembered the multiple reporters around them but as he tells himself why he should not strangle Kim Jungwoo, he can already imagine the headlines that are going to be on the news tonight. He can vividly imagine them walking beside each other, Jungwoo’s smirk towards Jaehyun captured way too well. 

_Jung and Kim, the blood-thirsty rivals - preying each other even after racing!_

_We all knew that this season would be even more interesting as usual after Scuderia Ferrari’s newest driver recruit but now it is truly confirmed - Kim Jungwoo and Jung Jaehyun, who are even before the first Grand Prix of the season made to be the obvious choices on fighting for the championship, were seeing talking to each other at the pit! People near them have been talking about how they were already measuring their chances on why their team would win. This rivalry is truly something that the world of Formula 1 is looking at right now - during past years no rivalries have gone to this extent! Maybe the mighty lion of the Formula 1, Jung Jaehyun, has found the competition that he needs!_

Jaehyun clicks the television shut and as he closes his eyes, trying to sleep for good all that he can think of is the sparkle in Jungwoo’s eyes and the smirks towards him.

/

Jaehyun should have predicted that when he wishes for luck to be on his side, it never is. Luck always disappears when he needs it the most.

It had gone well at first. The grip on his tires had been good and Wolff had said through the radio that they would last until the end of the race - until it had started raining, and he was immediately told to make a pit stop to change his tires to the full wet ones. Jaehyun saw how Ferrari had the same idea as Jungwoo goes past him at the pit to change his own tires. Jaehyun had trust in his team - mostly all of his pit stops went smoothly, so obviously it would go well this time too, he would drive the last laps and smile at Kim Jungwoo from the first position, mockingly saying _may the best man win._ But when Jaehyun needed luck, it was never on his side. Something had gone wrong as the last tire as it wouldn’t just go in. Jaehyun watched as after 3 seconds the red devil went past him back to the race. 10 seconds and Jaehyun was back in the game but he _knew_ that this was it. He would be lucky if he made it to the podium. He could feel the way Kim Jungwoo would tease him after the race. Wolff cursed through the team radio, Jaehyun cursed back but promised to do his best.

58 laps later and Jaehyun finishes on third place. Congratulations from Wolff fall into his ears but he doesn’t want to hear them. He couldn’t do what he promised his team - a win. Stepping out of his formula Bottas comes and pats him on the shoulder. At least Mercedes has two men on the podium but the highest place belongs to Kim Jungwoo. And as Jaehyun stands there, forcing a smile on his face, holding the third place trophy - he feels the way cameras click around them, feels the way titles are being made where they refer to Kim as the next big thing, bigger than Jung Jaehyun.

Champagne is being sprayed on his face and when Jaehyun wipes his face he sees Kim Jungwoo staring at him, smiling his wicked smile. 

“May the best man win in the future too”, Kim whispers to him. Something burns inside Jaehyun. If Kim wants to play his wicked rivalry games, then they play.

“It’s on”, Jaehyun whispers back.

The season carries on, and Jaehyun truly wants to celebrate the way he wiped off Jungwoo’s smirk after he won the second race in Bahrain. A classic Jung Jaehyun performance was said after he easily took his rightful, in Jaehyun’s words, place on the first spot on the podium. This time it was him who sprayed champagne on Kim’s face, whispering the same _may the best man win._ Still, Jaehyun can’t help but admit in his mind that he is indeed impressed by the Ferrari driver - there is no way that he would ever say it out loud because he doesn’t want to give Kim the satisfaction of knowing that in some way he intimidates Jaehyun. He throws it into the back of his mind, telling himself to get a grip.

They are told early that after the tenth race, the British Grand Prix they have a few days off before flying to Germany to get started on preparing for the race in Hockenheim. When Jaehyun first heard about having free time, he texted his friend Taeyong if he and Doyoung would be able to come to spend time with him - _I can buy the damn tickets and everything, just let me enjoy a few days with my bestfriends… now that I think, you will surely make me third-wheel. Oh well, whatever. Please come?_ Taeyong had told Jaehyun to fuck off because there was no way that the two would miss on the opportunity to visit him. Taeyong had told him how he knows the season takes a toll on him - _we know that you need to be with people to get your head out of the constant racing mode._ It was settled then, as simple as that. Jaehyun had never been so thankful for the fact that his friends had somehow decided to take a week off from work. Overtime work hours or something, as they had said.

Taeyong had cried at the airport when he had seen Jaehyun. He would never admit it because he would never hear the end of it from Doyoung - Doyoung could be dying but still remind Jaehyun of the fact that he is truly soft for Taeyong and Doyoung and would do anything for them. _Remember when we all cried when we saw each other? Such soft bitches, all of us!_ But Jaehyun knows that his friends know that he would do anything for them, even if he never says it. They understand him and it is all that matters.

Before leaving Jaehyun notices someone who he really did not want to see before Germany but life has never been fair for him. The red-haired devil, _his rival_ , throws his arms around two men, and Jaehyun knows that Kim Jungwoo had planned the exact same thing for the break as him - to see his friend. Or they could be his lovers. Jaehyun stares at them as Taeyong and Doyoung look for their luggage. The men who Jungwoo hugged hold hands and Jungwoo gags at them. Jaehyun doesn’t want to know why his body is reliefed by the fact those two are definitely just Jungwoo’s friends.

“Hey Jae, you haven’t seen in ages how bad Yong holds his alcohol, let’s go drinking tomorrow!” Doyoung almost yells at him as Taeyong whines back about _you are supposed to be nice to me, Do, we are dating!_ Jaehyun truly wouldn’t change his friends for anything.

Doyoung does keep his promise on making Jaehyun remember how much of a lightweight Taeyong truly is. Yes, Doyoung and Jaehyun had both told Taeyong that he doesn’t have to actually drink when they go to a bar, they were just teasing him, but Taeyong shoots them down and complains how he is so damn stressed because of his work and how this is the first time he gets to go out in ages. _I don’t care if I have a horrible hangover tomorrow, at least I could finally let loose for a second_. Doyoung rolls his eyes but Jaehyun doesn’t miss the affectionate look he throws at his boyfriend. The two idiot friends of his are truly made for each other, and Jaehyun loves them from the bottom of his heart. 

The bar they go to doesn’t have many people in, and it makes Jaehyun release the breath he was unknowingly holding. He has had his fair share of the times where the bar he has gone to has been full and he has been so easily recognized where all of a sudden he is in the middle of all of the people who surround him, yelling at him to do this and that. Jaehyun loves his fans and anyone who supports him but sometimes it all gets a bit too much and he feels like he is on the bottom of the darkest oceans, drowning, even when in reality he is standing on land, breathing well and living. Wolff said that it is normal that it sometimes gets a bit too much, it happens to everyone - Jaehyun is glad that his team principal said those words to him, it makes him feel better when he sometimes disappears completely from the spotlight of the media between seasons. 

As Doyoung and Taeyong go find the best possible table for them - Taeyong’s words, not anyone else’s - Jaehyun goes to order them all drinks. He can hear Taeyong whining to Doyoung and Doyoung jokingly whining back even from the bar counter and he chuckles at them. He is so used to their antics that they don’t surprise him anymore, but if any stranger were to see Jaehyun’s two friends being the way they are, especially at their worst, maybe they would be a bit shocked - Jaehyun once again thanks his friends in his mind for being strong and not minding what other’s think of them. Jaehyun aspires to be like that one day too.

He orders three beers and watches as he sees recognition wash over the bartender’s eyes - Jaehyun wants to sink into himself but the smile that the bartender sends him tells him enough. _I know who you are but don’t worry, I am not one of those who immediately call the press, I will pretend like I don’t know who you are so you can enjoy yourself._ Jaehyun smiles back at the bartender and he hopes that his smile shows how grateful he is for their kindness.

“So, South Korea’s sweetheart and the best Formula 1 driver - how’s it going?” Doyoung asks him after taking a huge gulp from his own beer. 

“I think Kim Jungwoo is slowly taking the best driver place at least according to the media but I don’t know how I am. Some days it is easier and I feel confident in myself, like I know I am good. Then suddenly I am thrown into this huge comparision because I haven’t been the same as I was before Kim Jungwoo joined Ferrari, he wins his debut race and suddenly the media is asking me if I am getting weaker. It’s weird and I don’t know who to believe, me or the press, you know?” the words that he hasn’t said to anyone come out of his mouth so easily around his friends. Doyoung watches him with concern and Taeyong is trying to come up with words that reassure Jaehyun without throwing him off.

“Look, Jaehyun… you know that the media are just a bunch of shitheads, right? Most of them haven’t been in your place ever in their life, they think they know what it is like to be you or a Formula 1 driver but they don’t because they have never been one themselves. You said you know you are good - you are good. Fucking hell Jaehyun, you remember what Horner said to you - you _are_ one of a kind. All of you drivers are but Jaehyun, there is just something in you that makes you special. You know how Wolff is, he would have never recruited you if he didn’t think that you have talent. You have everything this damn thing needs! Ambition, tactics, knowledge, everything and I swear if you don’t soon go to therapy I will - holy shit, Kim Jungwoo is here”, the last sentence of Taeyong’s rambling is a whisper and Jaehyun turns to look at where Taeyong’s eyes are glued. There, all in his glory is indeed Kim Jungwoo with the same two people who were with him at the airport. Suddenly the eyes of the one person that probably likes making Jaehyun’s life absolute hell in and out of races are on him. The usual glint that Kim’s eyes hold is there. Everything feels like it comes to a stop. Kim’s friends look confused and suddenly the trio are all looking at him.

“I’m going to the bathroom”, Taeyong tries to stop him as Doyoung holds Taeyong back. He hears the faint _let him clear his mind, Yong,_ and sometimes Jaehyun is just so happy that Doyoung can read him like an open book most times.

The air is cooler inside the bathroom which truly is shittier than Jaehyun expected. The pain is chipping off the walls, graffiti covering the doors to the stalls. A few cracks on the mirror and the sink. Jaehyun turns the handle to the coldest setting and watches as the water falls, spiralling into the bottom of the sink. Some days he still wonders if he is like that too - spiralling down to the bottom but just not as fast as the water. He splashes the water to his face as if trying to clean off something, he doesn’t know what he wants to get away - maybe it is how some days he feels like quitting it all, maybe it is the words that the press writes about him or maybe it is the fact that he can’t get Kim Jungwoo out of his mind. Jaehyun hates admitting it but sometimes he is fascinated by the biggest rival of his. Jaehyun hates himself for it. It should have never been like this, especially when he is supposed to hate everything about Kim Jungwoo. Then again, sometimes everything Jaehyun does just destroys himself a bit more. Maybe he truly should take notes of Taeyong’s words and go to therapy.

He almost misses hearing the bathroom door open. The sound of boots clicking on the floor and the water running are the only things that is heard for a while, until the person stops but the running water doesn’t. 

Jaehyun glances at the mirror, his face dripping with water, to already find Kim Jungwoo staring at him. Somehow it is more intense than it has ever been during their races, during the times at the podium, during when they bump into each other in the pits. There is something in Jungwoo’s gaze that Jaehyun can’t explain.

“Stop staring at me and leave, Kim”, he mutters at the person standing beside him. A breathy laugh leaves Jungwoo’s lips.

“Sometimes it is kind of hard to just leave you, Jung”, the words make Jaehyun snap his head upwards, now being face to face to Jungwoo.

“What the fuck do you mean by that?”

“I didn’t want this rival bullshit, you know? I have looked up to you for as long as you have been driving in this fucking shit show. Then I join and somehow I am put against you. It hurts sometimes, right? Not being able to do things that you truly want to do because someone else has put it into your head that hey, you are supposed to hate this person”, Jaehyun keep staring at him, listening as Jungwoo puts his own thoughts into words - and how Kim just knows that Jaehyun feels like that too. 

“I have never hated you.”

Jungwoo just keeps smiling at him but Jaehyun knows that he _knows._ It has always been another thing that everyone has praised Jaehyun on - he truly doesn’t hate, doesn’t spit insults left and right, respects others. A good-hearted person, that is what Jung Jaehyun is. He has never hated Jungwoo, he couldn’t hate Jungwoo even if he wanted. Because maybe it has been hard to admit to himself that if he and Jungwoo had met in another reality where they weren’t famous Formula 1 drivers, he would have never hesitated to bury these feelings inside him. Jaehyun wants to kiss Jungwoo and has wanted to do it for so long. Maybe he hasn’t fully admitted to himself how much he actually wants Jungwoo but it’s fine.

“Jung?” When did he come so close? So close that Jaehyun can smell the vodka in his breath. So close that if he tried he could probably count Jungwoo’s eyelashes. So close that if he just went forward just a bit…

“Can I kiss you?” Jaehyun surges forward and kisses him. They clash together and Jaehyun feels as their teeth knock together but he doesn’t mind it - all that he can think about is how Jungwoo tastes of cherry lipbalm and vodka, how his lips are so soft against Jaehyun’s, how their tongues meet after all this time, how Jungwoo corners him and how his back hits the wall. It feels good, doing what he has wanted to do for so long. It feels good when Jungwoo grabs his hips, holding him in place. It feels good when Jungwoo moves to suck on his neck and Jaehyun would like to tell him that Jungwoo can leave as many marks as he wants, Jaehyun doesn’t mind. It feels good, being breathless and panting and feeling as Jungwoo smiles against his neck. It feels good when Jungwoo looks up and smiles at him. Jaehyun smiles back, forgetting about his doubts for just this moment. It feels good but only if it is Jungwoo.

Germany happens and Jaehyun feels something pull at his chest when he watches Jungwoo smile at him after the race. It's quick, the softness that his eyes hold after Jungwoo has to switch back to the mode he usually is when he is around Jaehyun. Sometimes it hurts but Jaehyun also knows better - they can't risk anything right now. The season is half-way done, so they just have to wait until the Grand Prix in Abu Dhabi is over and then they can be whatever they want to be. It's sometimes confusing to him, what he truly wants or what Jungwoo wants. After meeting in the shitty bathroom somewhere in the United Kingdom they have never stopped what they are doing, but they have never talked about it either. Maybe it is not fine but right now it's all that matters. As long as Jungwoo will still sneak into his hotel room after races, it's fine. Hendery smiled knowingly at Jaehyun and told him that he's happy for him but he needs his sleep. Confused, Jaehyun asks him to elaborate. Apparently the walls in the hotels are sometimes thinner than he and Jungwoo had thought. 

Time goes faster and sometimes Jaehyun feels like he can't keep up with it. One day he is congratulated for winning the Grand Prix of Italy for three times in a row - _Ferrari must be fuming_ , the interviewer says and Jaehyun just smiles - and suddenly he is staring into Singapore at night from his hotel window. Sometimes, rarerly nowadays, Jaehyun still thinks about how his life would have been if he hadn't decided to take this path. Would he be studying to be a doctor what he always told he would be before he jumped into the racing world? Would he live in a small apartment and get drunk with his fellow students when it all became a bit too stressful for them? Would he have Taeyong knocking on his door, yelling at him to open it before he kicks it down and Doyoung yelling that his boyfriend would just like to feed Jaehyun. How much different would it truly be? 

_I am not able to meet you today, congrats on the win, Woo. Looks like you are truly going to be the one to beat me and win the championship (watch out for next season, I'll kick your ass). - Jaehyun x_

They are in Mexico and Jaehyun is truly regretting that he let Hendery give him a bottle of Tequila. The liquor burned his throat but the familiar tipsiness was more than welcome. The tiredness washed over him but he just had to call Doyoung before he fell asleep. He thought about yesterday and how Jungwoo had videocalled his friends when it had been Jaehyun's turn to sneak into his hotel room. Johnny and Kun, the most disgusting couple in the world - Jungwoo's words, not theirs. Jaehyun had told them how he recognised them from the bar and the two just smiled at him, telling him that it was a pleasure to meet them. Jungwoo told him more about his two friends, how they were truly soulmates - _they have been together for seven years Jaehyun, seven! And they're married, I am so glad you didn't have to see Kun shove his tongue down Johnny's throat at the wedding, I think they traumatized at least half of the people there_. Johnny had blushed after as Kun laughed at Jungwoo's frantic explaining of how he has nightmares over the wedding, just because of that. 

"Jaehyun, you okay?" Doyoung's voice feels somehow distant as he answers the phone - Jaehyun blames it completely on the Tequila he had drank. His head is hazy and the things he wants to say to his bestfriend are on the tip of his tongue but it all feels like a bit too much. Admitting the things that he feels for Jungwoo feel like a big step into some territory where he hasn't been before. The unknown scares him. The fact that he doesn't know what goes inside Jungwoo's mind scares him. Does Jungwoo feel the same way? Jaehyun has always liked to know how things work. Before he officially started in the F1 he researched what he could - he just wanted to know more. How does the machine that would be under him work? How big are the chances that he crashes and dies since it has happened before to others? Is it all worth it? He still doesn't know everything and probably never will, he is not a mechanic and they are always making formulas better, faster, safer. Jaehyun can only keep up as a driver. Sometimes Hendery explains to him things about the machines because he knows that Jaehyun is interested. He told that he wants Jaehyun to know more about risks and everything because _you might be a one of a kind driver Jaehyun, a true sensation but you are still human. You can break so easily and you know it is easy for the drivers to break with these powerhouses._ Jaehyun has seen with his own eyes as ambulances come pick up his fellow drivers. He has seen blood and broken bones, he has seen way too many people lose conscious. He is only human and humans break in many ways. 

"I think I am in love with Jungwoo." 

And Doyoung listens as Jaehyun cries, worries and hopes. His bestfriend listens as Jaehyun's breaths turn deeper, signalling that he has fallen asleep. His phone's screen lights up as a sign of a new message. 

_I always win with you on my mind, so you are always there on the first spot with me, Jung. Maybe not in person but always on my mind. xx Woo_

The sun in Austin, Texas burns Jaehyun’s neck and he wouldn’t be surprised if he got sunburnt once again - it happened two years ago and he wishes that he learned his lesson. Bottas never lets it go and still teases him a bit every time Texas is mentioned anywhere, which results to the whole team of Mercedes to join him in the operation let’s make Jaehyun’s life hell even if we love him. But it’s nice, being close to his team. It has always been a big family of sorts, and he has felt the same about both Mercedes and Red Bull. It’s nice to think of it all as just a big family vacation around the world, where two of them race and the rest of the team work their magic to make the best for them. Jaehyun appreciates all of them. He will always do.

“Hey, Jung! Kim was looking for ya! He’s somewhere around Ferrari’s pit but still not there, that motherfucker is always so damn mysterious”, Jaehyun smiles as he hears the voice of his former teammate. Verstappen is enthusiastic, always so full of energy and at the start Jaehyun had a hard time keeping up with him. Max Verstappen was the youngest driver to enter Formula 1 and Jaehyun respects him for it. They are the same age but there has always been something about Max that makes him feel like a big brother.

“Thanks Max, and good luck!” Verstappen smiles back and Jaehyun walks away to where Jungwoo is waiting for him because he knows exactly where he is. It’s their own secret spot where no team or just anyone in general can see them. It’s where they share good luck kisses before races, it’s where Jungwoo tells Jaehyun with a serious expression that he better make it back in one piece. Neither of them have crashed at all this year, keeping people’s attention all over the world on them. It has been like that since the first race and has stayed the same through the whole season. With three races left it’s easy to say that it is either Kim Jungwoo or Jung Jaehyun who is going to be the one to hold the title of the champion of this year. It doesn’t stress Jaehyun anymore and he knows that as much as Jungwoo loves racing and loves the adrenaline and _everything_ it gives him, it has never mattered to him if he wins or not - he told that to Jaehyun that as long as he does what he loves, it doesn’t matter if he succeeds, he just wants to be happy.

“Max told me you were missing me?” Jaehyun arrives at their spot and there Jungwoo already is, ready in his red driving suit, holding his helmet.

“Yeah, just wanted to wish you good luck. You know that if I win today then I am for sure going to win the championship? It’s weird, Jae. Why is it weird?”

“I mean, maybe because it is something that you have never experienced before? When I first started and got my first place on the podium as third, I felt weird - I didn’t know what to do there. If I think about the moment I can almost still feel the awkwardness that was radiating from me. When I won my first championship, I didn’t know what to do, so my face was all blank in the press pictures because I was just trying to process the situation. You get used to them, and those championships seem to be radiating towards you in the future too, you are such a talented driver. Feels like I have never seen Binotto so happy, you are getting them back to the taste of winning and being on top of Mercedes!” Jungwoo laughs at Jaehyun’s last sentences and he feels happy. He understands how Jungwoo feels because of the fact that he has been there himself but to be truthful, Jungwoo seems to be a natural when it comes to adjusting in different situations. Where young, new driver Jaehyun had been an awkward mess everywhere, Jungwoo handles everything with a certain professionalism that Jaehyun can only dream of. He knows how to act in different situations, yes, but he knows that his nerves and awkwardness still shine through him most of the time. He has never seen that in Jungwoo. Jungwoo is confident. Jaehyun also thinks that it is hot, but maybe now is truly not the time to start admitting it to him - they are about to race in a few hours, fucking before that would be a mess.

“Good luck, Jaehyun. Remember that you are always on my mind, so whenever I win, you win too”, Jungwoo always has him blushing with his words, there is just some effect in him that makes Jaehyun weak in the knees, ready to drop anything for him. He kisses Jungwoo softly and wishes him the best too. It hasn’t been “may the best man win” in a while. And if they say it, it never holds seriousness anymore, it just acts more of as a joke. Jaehyun doesn’t want to think about it too much but somewhere in the back of his mind he knows more than he would like to admit about the relationship between them.

/

Once again the weather is Jaehyun’s biggest enemy. It was sunny at the start and most of the race is driven in the beautiful weather but before it all happens Jaehyun remembers Wolff telling him through the team radio that dark clouds are coming. _It’s going to rain, get ready for a heavy pour. Once it starts, you have to come for a pit stop immediately, Jaehyun. Even if it ain’t that much laps left, we aren’t going to risk it by continuing with the medium tires._

It happens 10 laps later, on lap 40. The rain starts pouring down but they decide to continue the race until the end - only 16 laps left and the rain isn’t heavy enough for us to stop the whole race now. Jaehyun knows that his tires’ grip is weak but he knows he has to make it to the pit stop. He has to make it to his team so they can make it alright and he can continue the race without having to worry if his tires decide to lose the grip and throw him out, making him crash. Jaehyun tries to drive carefully, he truly does. He is in the last turn before the pits but he has always known that in situations like these the luck has never been on his side. He tries to get his car’s control back but his tires have lost their grip and there he goes, from turn 19 crashing into the wall. He has had worse but his heart still races as he watches his shattered front wing and the broken tires. There are no scratches on him, he can easily stand on his legs but the adrenaline pumps and he is so, so shaky.

As he sits at the pit after Wolff talked with him he wonders if he is ever going to know when is the right time to quit before it is too late. It’s his dream but what if he truly hurts himself one day? _I don’t want to do that to Jungwoo._

Jungwoo wins the race, of course he does. He also makes sure that he wins the championship - Jaehyun is second in the drivers’ championship but even if he won the next two races he wouldn’t be able to pass Jungwoo in points. It’s a day of celebration for Ferrari, and Jaehyun feels like he has betrayed his team by crashing - he should have known better. Hendery tried to reassure him that these things happen, you can never know what happens in a Formula 1 race. Bottas hums as he agrees with everything Hendery says - the youngest member of the pit crew is something Jaehyun wants to be in a way. When he said that to Hendery, he said that he wouldn’t like that Jaehyun was like him - Hendery likes it when people are different, likes to learn from different people and see different strengths and talents. It makes Jaehyun smile through his tears of frustration and anger towards himself. 

Jaehyun is leaving the pits to go to his hotel when he hears footsteps coming from behind him - someone is running to get him. He turns around and sees Jungwoo and before he can react in any way the younger man has thrown himself all over Jaehyun, hugging him so close that he feels like he can’t breathe, literally. Jaehyun hugs back, of course it does - it has only been a few hours since he saw Jungwoo but he still always misses him. It’s easy to miss Jungwoo, it always brings a certain peace on Jaehyun whenever he is with Jungwoo. As he realizes that Jungwoo is crying, he panics.

“Woo? Hey, I- what’s wrong? Is everything okay?” Jaehyun doesn’t understand what the younger mumbles into his shoulder, but his shirt keeps getting damper, so the tears haven’t stopped flowing. Jaehyun lifts his head off and as he stares into Jungwoo’s bloodshot eyes he thinks of how much of a fool he has been the whole time. How oblivious he has been. 

“I thought you were hurt. I only saw the crashed car but never you. After the race when I asked, nobody knew how you were. When Bottas didn’t know all I started to picture was the worst things that could have happened to you. Don’t you realize it, Jae? It hurts me to see you hurt, I care too fucking much for you. I like you so damn much that it hurts my heart, you idiot. I have big, romantic feelings for you that I know you have for me too. I have just been waiting for you to realize that yes, you deserve to be loved and I would like to be the one who loves you and takes care of you so damn much that you get sick of it but at the same time not because we are disgustingly in love like Johnny and Kun”, Jaehyun stares wide-eyed as Jungwoo rants. And he knows that the only way to get Jungwoo to shut up is by kissing him, so Jaehyun does just that and he feels as Jungwoo melts against him. It feels good to be with Jungwoo, it has always made him feel safe.

“I think I would love to be disgustingly in love”, Jungwoo giggles and pushes his shoulder playfully. It’s so easy to be with Jungwoo.

_Next time you decide to make-out with your boyfriend around the pits could you please, PLEASE, decide on a place where I wouldn’t accidentally walk into and see your tongues dancing together. Or if it continues like this, you better start paying me to keep me from complaining to everyone. (I am kidding. I love to see you happy.) - Hendery_

After the last Grand Prix of Abu Dhabi it feels like a dream when they go back to South Korea. As the new winner of the drivers’ championship Jungwoo is always surrounded by press but as time goes and people start waiting for the new season the press also disappears into thinking what could possibly happen during the newest season.

The noise from the television works as background music as Jungwoo cards his finger’s through Jaehyun’s hair. The golden child of Mercedes, as Jungwoo teasingly calls Jaehyun, had fallen asleep a while ago, head resting on Jungwoo’s lap. Jungwoo had a video call session with Binotto earlier, talking about their next season’s tactics. Jaehyun had quietly snickered in the background but Jungwoo did the same when Jaehyun had his video call with Wolff.

Jungwoo presses a kiss on his boyfriend’s forehead and closes his own eyes, slowly drifting to sleep. It feels so good to be with Jaehyun, it has always felt like something that he has never experienced - in a good way.

_Because whenever I win, you win with me as you are always in my mind, wherever I go. On the podium we always hold the first place together, and I already feel like a winner just for finding you._

  
  
  



End file.
